I did this drawing in my drawing class in 2011.
Beauty and Vanity – Cinquain
Beauty
And vanity
Vanish like vapour on
A hot day; winter wrinkles wink
And grin
© irina dimitric 2013
The original drawing is as large as this one.
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Irina's Poetry Corner 
A lovely poem, and a wonderful sketch.
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Thank you so much, Anita. 🙂
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What a beautiful, melancholy poem and a brilliant drawing, Irina! 🙂
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Thank you so much, Caroline. 🙂
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A very talented lady. Could I make a tiny suggestion though. I found “winter’s wrinkles wink” a little difficult to get around my tongue so could it go –
“wink, winter’s wrinkles,
and grin”
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Thanks, Benita, for your suggestion. Much appreciated.
Originally I wrote “winter’s wrinkles grin
and wink”.
Then I thought how about more alliteration. I struggled with it for the same reason you just pointed out, but I wanted to convey that old age is winking at youth and grinning in derision – “You’ll be old one day too”. I like the flow of your version very much, but does it convey the meaning I intended? If it does, then I’ll change those lines.
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Thanks, Benita, for your suggestion. Much appreciated. Originally I wrote “winter’s wrinkles grin and wink”. Then I thought how about more alliteration. I struggled with it for the same reason you just pointed out, but I wanted to convey that old age is winking at youth and grinning in derision – “You’ll be old one day too”. I like the flow of your version very much, but does it convey the meaning I intended? If it does, then I’ll change those lines.
I posted this reply on my blog, but just want to make sure you get it, so here it is as well as I’m eager to know your opinion. Thank you so much again for offering your suggestion for improvement. I truly appreciate it.
Cheers, Irina
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Maybe it’s the possessive that is not working. Because we know, simply with the use of the word winter, that is her in her aged self that is having the smile at life. That is the very strength of the poem imho. “winter wrinkles, wink
and grin”
How do you feel about that? I love it because it conveys the fact that the more one tries to cover up with cosmetics the worse it can get. Your poem suggests that this has been realised quite some time ago. I love that we can write of age without fear. I love your hearty confidence and self esteem manifest in this poem. But you go with what you are comfortable with.
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Your art and writing talent is amazing…I love the portrait…looks like you…I enjoy all your posts and am always glad when I see your name…
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Barbara, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging comment. This is a portrait of a young male model from a magazine. His extraordinary beauty inspired me to write this poem.
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Benita, I started off with “winter” without the possessive, but then it sounded like “winter” is doing the wrinkling, so I opted for the possessive. Your new suggestion sounds great without the comma – “winter wrinkles wink and grin”. How about that? I think I can now make those changes. I just need your Amen! 🙂
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I’m taking out the possessive! I had a look in my file on the computer and that’s what I had at first, the possessive was an after-thought. So out it goes! Thanks very much for your constructive feedback, Benita. 🙂
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I think it works very well. It’s lovely. It’s amazing how often our first thoughts were the best. Pat, my husband, was great at giving comment on my writing and he was not a writer, just better at spelling then me, and he always used to say to me ‘don’t change it’. It depends, doesn’t it?
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I also give my husband Sasha to read everything I write, and although his English is not perfect, he can still give me valuable feedback regarding the mood and logical sequence of the piece. Thanks for your Amen, Benita. 🙂 Much appreciated.
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Shouldn’t it be winter wrinkles, winks and grins? If you are listing descriptive verbs for winter, you need to keep subject/verb agreement.
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Yes, that would be correct if I wanted “winter” to be the subject, but, actually, my intention was to have “winter wrinkles” as a subject, that’s why I added the apostrophe to make it clearer, but after discussing it with Benita, I took it out again.
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Beautiful words to accompany your drawing. How wonderful that you can create both words and visual portraits. xx
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Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Christy. 🙂
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If I’ve got it wrong I don’t mind pulling back. I am certainly not an expert. And I’m glad to see what others think and why they feel it works it better. Maybe it was me tripping over esess.
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Ha ha ha! So, Benita, will I put the possessive back in?
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Now, I’m in a dilemma…I don’t like the esess either!
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Winter my nemesis, I wink
and grin
but hey don’t quote me 😉 😉
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Ha ha ha 🙂
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[ Smiles ] You are a very talented artist!
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Thanks, Renard. 🙂
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Oh my gosh 😉 You do what you feel the most comfortable with.
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Benita, WINTER WRINKLES is the subject. 🙂 Nothing wrong with it. Thanks again, I really didn’t like the possessive. Have a nice day! 🙂
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Thanks, I will. I’m gonna mow my lawns
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Good on ya! 🙂
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Irina, your drawing is outstanding… And so are Your words…
“Beauty & Vanity” , that title reminded me of “Pride & Prejudice”…
Cheers, Aquileana 😉
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Thanks, Aquileana, for the encouragement. I think I should do some drawing again. 🙂 Cheers, Irina
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Irina, your poem and picture are a wonderful set. You really have mastered how to draw a face so lifelike. My daughter and I think it looks like my youngest son. I love the dimpled chin – just like my son’s…
Blessings ~ Wendy
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Oh Wendy, your son is then a very handsome young man. Thank you very much for your lovely comment. 🙂
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Fantastic drawing! A great expression, and I’d say that drawing is your strength.
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Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. Much appreciated. 🙂 Cheers!
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What an excellent drawing! Goodness, you’re not only a poet, but also a photographer AND artist?! So many talents!!! Your life must be so HD – 3D colorfully bright everyday! p.s. That’s interesting that the poem is about vanity cuz that fella sure does look handsome!
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Thanks for appreciating my talents, sf. I wish I had more time for painting and drawing. But taking a photo is so much quicker! You’re right, the beauty of that young fella made me think about ‘passing beauty’ and with it also ‘passing vanity’.
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Aw love this….Im winking and proud of my wrinkles… I earned them ( smiles)
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That’s the way to be, wear those hard-earned smile lines proudly! 🙂 Thanks so much for liking my poem and taking time to comment.
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And my lines on my forehead are from worrying and getting angry, so good thing I have a bang to hide it…lol
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And the fringe suits you!
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Nice to hear from you, Jan. Love your poem.
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Whimsical and wry
I hear the kookaburra’s cry
A woman’s wisdom dry
And resonate “Oh my!”
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